Route to the Indian elections for the middle aged male

Route1:
So did you go to a school, whose anthem (official or other) was sung at your 50th birthday?

If no

Did you go to a school which had no anthem? No song?

If no

You did not go to school: You will vote for yourself. And you will be spending a bucketful of money to numb others to vote for You.

Route2:
So did you go to a school, whose anthem (official or other) was sung at your 50th birthday?

If no

Did you go to a school which had no anthem? No song?

If yes

Did you really get excited by those ultra-nationalist propaganda wherein India was the magic land, a sone ki chidiya, and it was only those goras that fucked it all up for us – us, the honest, hardworking, non-corrupt, women worshipping, family loving indian male.

if yes

You really believe that politicians can make or break our nation and therfore the problem is not with you – you lazy, inefficient, cricket watching, rum drinking, corrupt, wife beating, feudal bigot – but with that party that you have, quite consistently, over generations, voted to power.

Well, you are an idiot. And will now vote for that hashtag #NaMo

Route3:
So did you go to a school, whose anthem (official or other) was sung at your 50th birthday?

If no

Did you go to a school which had no anthem? No song?

If yes

Did you really get excited by those ultra-nationalist propaganda wherein India was the magic land, a sone ki chidiya, and it was only those goras that fucked it all up for us – we, the honest, hardworking, non-corrupt, lady worshipping, family loving indians?

If No

Great! You are one of those Indians that gave us some reason to believe in the jingoism of India Shining – you worked hard, you qualified for the big stuff, bureaucrat, doctor, investment banker, consultant, silicon valley start-up, musician, artist, writer, politician, etc. You are a star. But will you Vote?

if yes

Well, you are no idiot. And you are self made. You have challenged the glass ceilings. And broken through. Quite like Mr Modi. Quite like Mr Kejriwal. You will give them a chance but also worry about their motives. Something worries you about the way they look, the way they talk. Some of your friends from that Ivy league had that look. And now they are in a jail. Yeah, you worry. And therefore, some of you, will go back to the tested but many of you will test the new.

Route4:
So did you go to a school, whose anthem (official or other) was sung at your 50th birthday?

If Yes

Good chap!
Pour yourself a stiff one, stroll across to your neighborhood EVM, vote for your buddy (or one who could be). It really makes no difference since, as you already know, if we were all friends, it would be okay.

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This entry was published on April 3, 2014 at 2:13 pm and is filed under India, Middle-aged, Politics, The Yeah Way. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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